you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize