I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
