she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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