This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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