One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
