In the future we'll all be gay
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
