Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
ttyl tear gas
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
