Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
