so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
