How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
