Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
