Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
