my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
