I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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