so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
