Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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