It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
