Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
