never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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