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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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