I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
