Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
smell my finger.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize