oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
