Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
