Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
