he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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