That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
