so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize