whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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