the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
