My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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