Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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