thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
