in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Well I just put wine in my tea
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize
