u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
