I'm jealous of your bromance
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
