bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
