I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
