you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
