I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
