It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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