Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
