hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
