you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
