somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
