It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
