No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
