How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize