WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
