I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
