no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
