can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
