"it" just moved
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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