Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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